Country
|
Member
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Location
|
Name
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Australia
|
0001
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A real grouchy bastard from Perth, Western Australia
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Muzza pic aka the Supreme Phart
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USA
|
0002
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Minneapolis, Minnesota, who actually likes eel pout
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Guzzi John
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Australia.
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0003
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A Suzi 500 man from Brisbane, Queensland,
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Paul Crowhurst pic aka Captain Belly Buster
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UK
|
0004
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A sad case from Colchester,
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Austria
|
0005
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Ugly and from Wang (near Amstetten)
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USA
|
0006
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A penniless bastard in Seattle, Washington
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Skinny
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Australia
|
0007
|
Brisbane, Queensland
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Hopey aka Don Hope
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Australia
|
0008
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A 650 Yam XS1 bastard from Brisbane, Queensland
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Stinky aka Pete
|
Canada
|
0009
|
A Jap bike man from way back from Newfoundland
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Paul Shapter aka Atlantic Pirate
|
Australia
|
0010
|
A 400 Honda man from Sydney
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Figjam
|
Canada
|
0011
|
A seriously bad man on the track
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|
Australia
|
0012
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Ugly as sin and a bastard to match w/- Yam 1600 Roadster, Sydney
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Paul Davis
|
USA
|
0013
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Old, fat and ugly and an ex-1947 Indian owner to boot, from Indiana!
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Gordon Husk
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USA
|
0014
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A strange case of scooter-itis in Minneapolis
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|
USA
|
0015
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Two "fatboys" from Honolulu, Bob has a Yamaha Virago and works at a Harley clothing shop!
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UK
|
0016
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Roger Smeeton has a 66 Bonnie Thruxton replica and is old, fat and fugly
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Brasil
|
0017
|
Christian Jacques Frans Winandy is familiar with the Amazonas.
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Ferro (Ironbender)
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Australia
|
0018
|
Bob Parkes is in Canberra and rides a Suzi T500. Bob is a balding fathead and proud of it.
|
Parkie
|
USA
|
0019
|
Ugly fat young gear headed bastard from Tennessee who likes Italian iron
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Justin Howes aka Jughead
|
Australia
|
0020
|
A penniless bastard from Queensland, now living in Tasmania
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Michael Silk
|
USA
|
0021
|
A genuine UFOB from Clearwater Florida who is having an affair with a Yamaha V-Star
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Chef Raymon (Ray Mack)
|
USA
|
0022
|
A righteous Zed owner from Springfield, MO, USA
|
|
USA
|
0023
|
Over 60 and riding a Honda Shadow 750cc
|
Skip Doane
|
USA
|
0024
|
Founder of the Hornerstown New Jersey Chapter. Panther, HD, Honda and Basset beer stand owner
|
Matt Picaro
|
USA
|
0025
|
A disreputable CMC rider from Mira Loma,Ca, a worthy member
|
Garry Oly
|
USA
|
0026
|
A scary bastard from San Antonio Texas - 6 feet and 310 pounds
|
Rosie
|
France
|
0027
|
A Froggy bastard who rides a Honda Revere who says "you are only as fat as your wife says you are!" Give up Michel!
|
Michel Verherve
|
USA
|
0028
|
A Suzi fan and a brand Y owner from Orlanda Florida
|
|
Australia
|
0029
|
This old bastard and his bike are the same age. Also has KLR 650 with sidecar and BMW. From Morgan SA.
|
Don Cleaver aka Meataxe pic
|
Australia
|
0030
|
Another fat grumpy old bastard from the SA riverland with his Harley
|
Ray Weiss aka Rhino pic
|
Australia
|
0031
|
Hmm, this ugly bastard from Morgan South Australia can drink, think, talk, walk and breathe at the same time!
|
Jan Kott aka Cochise pic
|
Australia
|
0032
|
Another hazard from the Riverland, Morgan, South Australia. Great bike!
|
|
USA
|
0033
|
The Lone Ranger, smoking along in Florida
|
|
Australia
|
0034
|
Lefty from Port Pirie SA struts his stuff on a QA50!
|
|
IC*
|
0035
|
55 year old one eyed fat bastard 18 stones of solid fat and bone with an head as big as a nine bob cabbage
|
Joe Pumford
|
USA
|
0036
|
I'm 49, 310 pounds, and I'm a miserable old fart! I ride a 2003 Yamaha Royal Star Midnight Venture, and I live in Danvers, MA.
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|
NZ
|
0037
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Sounds like an absolute mongrel, founder of the Auckland Chapter
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Mark Bardell
|
UK
|
0038
|
Reckless is a fat and grumpy bastard from Manchester who rides a Honda Revere
|
Reckless
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Canada
|
0039
|
A time wasting XS1100 Yammie lover, at least it is work time not drinking time! "Ottawa", what's that, some kind of rodent?
|
Alma Masters
|
Australia
|
0040
|
A Canberra based fat bastard who rides a space-age machine, very cool Brian!
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|
Australia
|
0041
|
127 kilograms (buggered if I know what that is in pounds) fat bald and ugly, no front teeth Harley Davidson riding Northern Territory (Crocodile Dundee area) male (or so he claims!)
|
Gary Smith
|
NZ
|
0042
|
Buggered about Australia for years on first an TX650A Yamaha, then a BMW R600/6, and finally a lot of miles on a Yamaha XS1100F. Worked for motorcycle importers/dealers in Qld and SA. I'm disgusting and smelly. I desperately want another bike. However, in NZ where I now live, welfare doesn't help my fantasies. I remain optimistic......(mmm sounds really ugly, welcome aboard John)
|
John Irvine
|
Australia
|
0043
|
Geoff is a fat bastard who has a great bike - the Suzi T500 in pieces - when he gets out of therapy he'll fix it up!
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|
USA
|
0044
|
Gordon Lamb from Crestwood Kentucky claims he leaves a vapour trail with his bike, hmmm sounds like a flatulence problem to me!
|
DaBear
|
Canada
|
0045
|
Alan Morrow has chosen to come out and admit to be being age and weight challenged....his first bike was a Suzuki Stinger which would make a fine motor for my Zimmer frame...Alan resides in Toronto
|
Alan Morrow
|
USA
|
0046
|
Looking at (Steve Michaelis) Fang's pic,I hope that isn't a dress he's wearing, but with arms like Popeye, who's going to argue with him?
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|
USA
|
0047
|
Gecko has requested membership - as he rides a Suzuki 500 he qualifies without any debate
|
David Cass
|
Australia
|
0048
|
Russell White has a BMW1100RGS and a Beta Zero...likes Italian bikes and outfits and is a real bastard...lives in one of Australia's little edens.....Byron bay NSW....
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|
Germany
|
0049
|
Michael Simmendinger will set up Germany's first UFOB chapter in Jettingen-Scheppach........we expect nothing but the best! Go Simmi!
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Australia
|
0050
|
George, from Perth, is so keen to join he asked twice....his missus reckons he is a thick bastard but he has a BMW 1150R and a 1966 R27 so he can't be all bad.
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|
USA
|
0051
|
Bill Walker is a fine fellow from California. He has a Suzuki T500 and an RE5 and a son who requires some serious discipline..... Bill has been riding for over 35 years which makes him a seriously old bastard! Check the pics if in doubt!
|
Bill Walker pic1 Bill pic2
|
USA
|
0052
|
Paul Moorhead is too thick to know how to email his pic..so he well qualifies to be an UFOB
|
Paul Moorhead
|
USA
|
0053
|
Tim Larson aka GT Tim is a GT750 Suzi man, grumpy and averse to a camera and well qualified to setup the first UFOB Chapter in Curwensville, PA
|
Tim Larson
|
USA
|
0054
|
Jeff Gootblatt, a right bastard from East Stroudsburg PA has seen fit to grace these pages and he is a two-stroke man as well (probably nothing some Tantric sex wouldn't fix!) which makes him surperbly qualified to be a UFOB.
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|
USA
|
0055
|
Lane is an UnForgiving Old Bastard and should have no problems attracting members to his Goose Creek SC UFOB Chapter to ride on his Suzuki GT750 special!
|
|
USA
|
0056
|
Tim Hughes aka Ogri rides a Suzi GT750 with mighty upgraded suspension and brakes...As you can see from the photo, Ogri has the Ugly, Fat and Grumpy Bastard thing down pat with no problem, and the old part is sneaking up fast…...
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|
USA
|
0057
|
Kickstart aka John Yosten has joined the UFOBMCC....his claims to fame.....just turned 60, started riding in 1955 on a Simplex Servi-cycle, eat sausage and sauerkraut and drink dark beer. Oh, and I stink at times...hmmm....almost over qualified!
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|
Australia
|
0058
|
JJ from Toowoomba Qld rides a Yamaha stroker for Team Fat Bastard. Talk about hopeful, betcha Mick Doohan is quaking in his boots. At 120kg and being over the hill JJ could be our first Fat Bastard World Champion!
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|
Germany
|
0059
|
Christof Afflerbach from Germany is a rare beast, a self proclaimed Fat Bastard, and if that is a Jawa I see in the photo then he is a true bastard as well!
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|
USA
|
0060
|
Tom Anderson is an crabby old bastard from Buzzard Bluff and he has offered to open an UFOB MCC chapter in the Ozarks. Still a good man....despite a touch nasty bout of addled brain brought on by too much hooch. We need a pic for the board you Old Pharte!
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Germany
|
0061
|
Balu is from Menden near Dortmund and he is a ratbike fan having a disgraceful Yam XJ750 himself.
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Germany
|
0062
|
Wolfgang Ilg is from Karlsruhe Germany, a ratbike fan as well....he has evidently disposed of a great deal of beer in his life whilst busily modifying his bikes! Beer goggle design principles perhaps!
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|
USA
|
0063
|
Barry from Arkansas is a member of the Ozark Chapter of the UFOB MCC, an undeniably questionable attribute...but he is strikingly photogenic regardless....!
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UK
|
0064
|
Steve Brown is a Geordie living near Wales..he has a Suzi 500 and a Triumph Sprite and could do with a good meal!
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USA
|
0065
|
Tony Turner lives in Saltillo, Mississippi, tortures his daughter, is fat and ugly and owns a swag of old bikes. Check out his picture.......my cat left home when this one appeared on my screen!
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Canada
|
0066
|
Dennis Duncan has a Suzi GT550, a GPZ900 and a SL100 parked beside his Pontiac. Dennis has a little secret....he is a cross dresser...at night he roams the streets as Jakob Ezekial Yoder....a deranged Amish. All he needs is a horse drawn buggy to complete his disguise.
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UK
|
0067
|
Titus the tightarse has registered and thinks he lives in Englandshire, sorry buddy since you lost the Empire you live in East Jamaica, get used to it. Titus has a secret passion, that's right camera pics, sadly not webcam pics...he even snapped one for us....welcome aboard Titus..
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USA
|
0068
|
Jim rides a 250cc virago 2006 year model, BIG bags luggage rack ,road bar ,padded sissy bar , exhaust mods to come. bought and started riding 4 weeks after a 7 bypass op. YES, 4 weeks after open heart surgery, put 3,000 miles on it in 11 , months, oh and I am an over weight self made slob.
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Germany
|
0069
|
Dirk Bender is from Siegen Germany and yes when it comes to benders* he is a champion. His Dog demands respect.
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Germany
|
0070
|
Ares has a close relationship with Dirk, he also has piles, which explains why he carries around a Haemmorhoid cushion at all times. Ares would love a bike as he would like to bite its tyres in his spare time; but he spends all his money on girls,food and drink so he will have to keep dreaming!
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USA
|
0071
|
Richard Dotter writes - Greetings and salutations from an ugly fat old bastard from Oregon. I definitely fit the requirements to become a new member of the UFOB biker club. Biking and bacon are some of my passions. I am attaching a picture that was taken at Disneyland. I ride a 2004 Roadstar. I sponsor a local riding group named the Cascade Foothills Cruisers which is registered with the International Star Riders Association. I am also a member of the Oregon Veterans MC, the Patriot Guard Riders, and have a senior discount ticket at the nearest Hometown Buffet. I don't know if there are other UFOB riders in Oregon, but would be interested in locating kindred spirits for the purpose of sharing rides, and bacon recipes. People already look at us and say "just look at all those Ugly Fat Old Bastards" --- Richard almost failed in his request to join, reference to Disneyland was a sticking point but my cat farted when he saw Richard's picture and with such a propitious sign how could we refuse!
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Australia
|
0072
|
Andrew Halsey is from Bathurst, NSW & rides a Suzuki GS 500. I'm old enough to think that all modern music is crap & young people should learn to dress & wear hats properly. Too ashamed to provide a picture.......too fugly on that Suzi probably.
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UK
|
0073
|
Frank Barlow says it all - I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm old and have been regularly referred to as a bastard, my bike... A Norton Imp. Is founding memeber of the Yorkshire Chapter.
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Norway
|
0074
|
Nils Olav Danielsen writes - I reed about this club, and I think it is perfect for me. I`m fat on the middle (probably to much beer...), I`m ugly minded (Blame it on the beer). Nils lives in Dalskleiv Norway.
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Australia
|
0075
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Fred Horvath - a very sad case of a Yamaha owner in South Australia. Wants to put 4 wheels on his bike but can't figure where to put the high lift jack! Wonders why more people aren't members of this club, simple, most aren't sober enough to read or write or afford a computer.
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USA
|
0076
|
Unbelievable, yet another fat bastard who thinks they can join just because they can....well OK then, welcome to CBGuns, his real name not a nickname....for those who want to have sex with him he is in his 40s and weighs 275lbs, you'd recognize him anywhere.....rides 3 Harleys at once in the streets of Wilmington MA USA.
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USA
|
0077
|
Aaron Thoma from Tennesee has put his reputation on the line. It is not often we get pics as ugly as this one, so hold onto your hats.....he may not be fat (yet) but he sure qualifies as an ugly bastard and to cap it off he tries to restore old Jap bikes......what a loser......you need parts to restore bikes!
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UK
|
0078
|
Mick Coldron is into Nortons, Bsa's, Royal Enfields etc and likes to stand under inappropriate street signs......big lad from Yorkshire. Is a Yorkshire Chapter member.
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UK
|
0079
|
Big Al (The Bastard) Iles has a 1950's BMW R69 outfit but prefers to pose on someone's Norton....bad boy from Yorkshire. Is a Yorkshire Chapter member.
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UK
|
0080
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Alison Kreigsman - Harley Sportster owner. Is a Yorkshire Chapter member. Likes to wear cam gear to look inconspicuous.
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UK
|
0081
|
Robbie Kreigsman - Harley Road King owner. Is a Yorkshire Chapter member. Likes to wear cam gear to look conspicuous.
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UK
|
0082
|
'Swet' Burnett V Max trike and GSX 1400 owner. Is a Yorkshire Chapter member. Likes to wear cam gear cos it don't show the stains.
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UK
|
0083
|
Les Sherburn - V Max owner. Is also a Yorkshire Chapter member. Is embarrassed to be with this mob because his Mum won't let him wear cam gear.
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Australia
|
0084
|
Tony Searl is from Forster Australia and rides a girls bike...a BMW. Tony is well known as a Fatshiteondakar.
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Holland
|
0085
|
Wolter HuizingaI wants to be a member of the UFOB because I'm ugly(my daughter says), I'm fat (my wife says), I'm old and lots of people call me bastard, my bikes are: Moto Guzzi 750S and 850 California. Well one thing is on your side...having top bikes like Guzzis....welcome aboard.
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UK
|
0086
|
A fat grumpy 52 yr old bastard called Marty Curren AKA Bonoeuf. The red Hornet is the wife’s, she can confirm the fat, old and bastard attributes as she called me all of them and a few others on our trip to France. I am in Hartlepool north east Engurland (Ed. and they hang monkeys up there! Check it out on the internet.)
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|
USA
|
0087
|
I was cruising the web for Fat bastard scotch ale and came across your website and decided that as I am an ugly fat old bastard I need to be in your club!
My name is John, I'm 38, 6 foot at 260 pounds. My bike is a Kawasaki Vulcan 1500 classic 1998!
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Germany
|
0666
|
Leiche from Düsseldorf has agreed to sell his soul to me to obtain his membership number, something I readily agreed to. His ratbike is appropriately sinister in black as well.......Leiche could be mistaken for one of the Horsemen from the Apocalypse on that beast, except that looks suspiciously like a lollipop in his mouth!
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* IC = International Citizen
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* a bender is a heavy drinking session in Australese
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|
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"Hmmm, seem to be a lot of bastards in the USA and Australia. Come on the rest of the world, don't let little us beat you." - mmm competition from the States is picking up! Lotsa Fat Boys there I hear!
Australia : 22 members (Beer, beer, beer, pass the beer boys)
USA : 32 members (they have big servings in the US...remember who invented Fries Upgrade!)
Canada : 4 members
UK : 13 members (I know there are more fat bastards there - Alexi Sayle told me so)
Brasil: 1 member
France : 1 member
Austria : 1 member (must be more in Austria, after all pork sausages, bacon, ham, pork cutlets and schnitzel is not exactly diet food!)
New Zealand : 2 members (eat more lamb guys!)
Germany : 7 members (same rules as for Austria - except add Frankfurts and various mysterious sausages)
Norway : 1 member
Holland : 1 member
The surprise is no Belgian members.....does national pride prevent...come on admit it.....Belgium is awash with UFOBs - natioanl capital of chocolate, beer and frits, frits and more frits with meat suace!.
This club is a real United Nations of damaged psyches, and proud of it. One day...we should hold an international rally...mmmmm, where.....maybe in a spa in France with a horde of young ladies serving us scented delights?
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